The Adventures of Understanding and Uncertainty

"Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes;
and I will keep it to the end.  Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of your commandments,for I delight in it. Incline my heart to your testimonies,and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;and give me life in your ways. Confirm to your servant your promise,that you may be feared. Turn away the reproach that I dread,for your rules are good. Behold, I long for your precepts;in your righteousness give me life!"
Psalm 119:33-40

I feel like understanding is something we pray for often. Understanding as to why our loving creator would allow a tornado to devastate Joplin, Missouri, understanding as to why the Lord would allow crime and disease to run rampant on earth and fatally impact those whom He loves, or even understanding about our future, what major to choose (in my current stage in life) or what career path to decide on. I think that we as people value understanding so much because we fear it's arch nemesis: uncertainty.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, which is pretty great since it's summer. There has been a lot of uncertainty in my life lately. I am uncertain as to why the Lord has me in Flower Mound this summer, why He hasn't revealed a Christ centered community for me here, and even deeper uncertainties. Why are there divisions in the church? Why is there so much debate regarding the Bible's inherent versus infallible qualities? Why is a flawless book even up for these types of debates? 

Whoop Barn on Highway 6. Classic.

These issues of uncertainty i feel like are very often glazed over by being regarded as petty issues, but then why do we even glaze over these issues? I feel like many Christians, especially those nestled comfortably in the Bible Belt, including myself, see Christianity as a lifestyle that they live by, almost like a hobby. Some people knit, others do music and athletics, and then there's the religious folk, those who revolve their lifestyle around the church. I feel like it is religion that keeps us from really looking deep into what religion is. Right now, I am in the midst of a time of questioning and a yearning for discovery. I am excited about this. It is in these times of questioning and weakness that the Lord is able to flex mightily and reveal His power and glory at it's strongest.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.James 1:2-4

Tonight I was talking to some of my close friends about the future. Even the idea of a crystal ball was brought up. (My friends are the coolest.) This got me to thinking, would I really like to see the future if I could? Some positives would be knowing when I would be getting married, if the Lord chooses to bless me with a Godly man to spend my life with, or where I will be living. If I were to know when I was getting married, I could hold out for the Mr. Right and stop wasting time, and really live up this time of singleness. But shouldn't I just jump at this opportunity to serve the Lord as a single woman right now anyways? It helps to build my relationship with the Lord by my selfless service Him and Him alone. If I knew where I was going to spend my life, my choice in careers would also be a whole lot easier. 
But at the same time, if there's any worldly thing that I love, it's the thrill of an adventure. And also the way that God reveals Himself when we look at our past in bewilderment, wondering how the heck we got to where we are. I did that at the end of this year. This time last year I was still all caught up in high school, I had a boyfriend, I was tanning in a tanning bed, I had never been to a Fightin' Texas Aggie Football game, I didn't know most of the people who I now call my best friends, I didn't know what a FLO was, this year has been absolutely huge. Coming into college I had a plan for myself, but God had a different and a far more perfect plan. I see His power and might in the way He has been able to guide me and steer me, because let's face it, leading someone like me is no easy task. It has all been one great big adventure. I love adventure. World of Warcraft is nothing but a virtual adventure, and I love that game. I also love to travel, and that's an adventure. I love meeting new people. boom. another adventure. See? adventure is great! And faith and walking with Christ is the greatest adventure of all, because it is more challenging than any adventure out there, but the reward in the end is greater than anything that I can even fathom. I praise Him for that. Gah. I'm so excited.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.Proverbs 16:9

Now the uncertainty of the rest of the summer lies ahead of me. I miss College Station a lot. The weekend I just spend there was fantastic. (shout out Ryan and Bryan) My drive home I listened to The Shack and spent some time in impatient prayer asking God why I was in Flower Mound this summer. College Station is a much better place to grow in Him.
Today the Jr. High youth minister at my home church called me and asked me if I would want to teach Jr. High Sunday school this summer and be a small group leader when we go to camp. Looks like God heard my impatient prayer. He is so good. He never ceases to amaze me with His providence, and I never cease to disappoint myself with my lack of faith. It seems the more I get to know Him the more in need of His grace and mercy I feel. 
I am grateful for this need in my life. It keeps me grounded. And although I question and have uncertainty, it is this groundedness and hunger to know Him deeply that keeps me pressing into Him and faithful that He will supply answers to my inquiries.

You heard my plea, ‘Do not close your ear to my cry for help!’Lamentations 3:56