Sincerity, faith, and tickle fights.

The past seven days been very different. On Monday, I will have been at The Oasis girls home for a full week. The Oasis is a place for girls to come that have been removed from their homes by the government for abuse or neglect, but for most of the girls here it's abuse. The youngest girl here is five years old, and the oldest is eighteen. There are currently around 40 girls living here.
Coming here I was very nervous. Camino Global gives its interns several choices to decide between when planning their internship. This wasn't an easy decision for me. I ruled The Oasis out first. I've just always found guys easier to talk to and be around. Girls stress me out, especially ones that are in the very delicate growing years that many of the girls here are at. I decided upon a family ministry about three hours outside of Guatemala City, but the Lord just wasn't having that. He completely took that option away from me. The Good Shepherd guided me back to square one and really made me petition Him and wait on Him before deciding where to serve. Long story short, He called me the last place that I wanted to go, and the place that I'm the most intimidated by. He is forcing me to rely completely on Him. God is wielding my heard-headedness to work for His glory. Clever. Classic God.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake. (Psalm 23:1-3 ESV)

This place has been a different challenge than I was expecting, for the most part the girls here are very sweet and always eager to play. My afternoons are filled with playing house, tickle fights, and games of "escondite." Escondite is just like hide and seek, except everyone speaks spanish. The older girls are more hesitant to spend time with me, but they're starting to warm up. The younger girls are so open and welcoming. They are always laughing. They make me miss being that age. Everything is so simple! Their emotions are raw, and their requests are sincere.
The Oasis is a Christian girls home. Getting to watch the young ones learn of Christ's love has been such a blessing to me. They give me so much encouragement by just living and being. They are so sincere in their prayers, and so adoring in their worship. Childlike faith is a gift, not naïveté.

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. (Mark 10:13-16 ESV)

Every night we eat dinner at a certain Casa. There are four casas here: Casa Azul, Casa Naranja, Casa Lily, and Casa Dorada. Every casa has girls of all ages, they do this so that they can keep sisters living in the same home. For my first five days here, I ate dinner with Casa Azul. It was fun getting to be a part or their family. We sat at the dinner table and had good conversation (or on my end, staring and listening) and laughter. After dinner was play time. It was so cool getting to watch the girls interact with one another. They really care about each other. They're also not awkward.
America. I've noticed something. We are a very awkward people. We never make eye contact with each other, we rarely say hello, we often look upset, and we care way too much about how we look. Candy, one of the girls in Casa Azul, put zit cream on every night, and her "sisters" always helped her with it. Then it became a huge thing, everyone was sharing in the zit cream. They even gave me some. I thought it was bizarre at fist, but then I realized that Candy didn't care, and that no one else did either. It's just how things are, and they're okay with that. I dream of a world where someday everyone will share in the fellowship of breaking bread and of zit cream.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. (Acts 2:42-44 ESV)

The girls here are so simple, although their pasts make things complex. They were the challenge that I was expecting, but they're not the challenge that I'm facing.
The biggest obstacle that I faced when starting here was myself. I just didn't know what to do with me. My afternoons and evenings were booked with playing, meals, and laughter, but from about 9:00am -1:30pm the girls were at school and I was very confused. To be honest, I was frustrated. The Americans that work here full time were always busy, and my partner and I got up eager to start the "work" part of our internship, and there was nothing to do. This frustration spilled over into playtime with the girls, and I was often upset. I'm generally not a person who is upset. There's nothing worse than not being yourself and knowing it.
As I spent more time getting to know the people working here, they gave me more to do. Now I spend my mornings translating cards and reports for the girls here into English and getting them ready to send to their sponsors. Every girl here has at lease 1 sponsor in the US, UK, or Canada. I get to learn more about them in this process, and practice my Spanish. It's not a huge job, but it's a job, and for that I am grateful. It's not anything that I did that made my mornings run smoother, but it was the change in the placement of my heart.
Everyone here lives by faith, they've been teaching me so much! The nationals here live by faith, the long term missionaries here live by faith, and as short term missionaries, we are expected to follow suit, even if we only know the American lifestyle of security and caution.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. (Hebrews 11:1-3 ESV)

I was absolutely lacking faith when I first arrived at The Oasis. I wanted so badly to change lives and make a difference. Changing lives isn't my calling though, that's God's territory. He just let's me have tickle fights in the mean time.
I've been having some really great quiet times recently, spending some time in Hebrews and 1 Timothy. 1 Timothy 1:5 really impacted my heart on a day where I felt so useless, and felt that this mission trip was turning into vacation.

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (1 Timothy 1:5 ESV)

I am here to be a tangible force of love to these girls and to the staff here as well. Although my Spanish gets me by, it's really not fantastic, and definitely not good enough quite yet to be having deep conversations with the girls about their past and what that makes their present look like. The aim of my charge is LOVE, but that love will not exist without a pure heart, good consistence, and a sincere faith.
Sincerity, faith, and tickle fights, it's the life I've been called to.
I think I'll manage.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:26-28 ESV)

Location:Guatemala